I hate skinny people!

This morning I was starving and a bacon, egg, cheese biscuit from Mickey D's sounded really good. Anyone who knows me, knows I love bacon! So I found a friend and headed over to the stinky Mickey D's near my office. After enduring the smell of B.O. and urine, I returned to my desk biscuit, coffee, and hashbrown in hand. I was so looking forward to the first bite, when two of my co-workers stop me on my way back to my desk.

"Oh, you already have your coffee this morning. Fine then." This coming from the self-proclaimed "health nut" on our team. Mind you, she is constantly obsessing over her weight and always loudly turning down treats, bread, carbs, etc. so that we can be certain we hear her. Not only that, she makes other people feel like crap for even looking at a piece of bread sideways. And somehow whenever we go out to eat as a team, I always get stuck next to her while she goes on and on about how she loves vegetables and fruit. She is so obnoxious! Never mind that she would be the first to scarf down 3 cookies when no one is looking. Or the fact that I understand that her daughter has battled anorexia.

Anywhoo, back to this morning. So I say, "Well, I went to McDonald's and I know that is really not your kind of place." So in her condescending little way, she says, "McDonald's, huh? Have you seen the move 'Supersize Me'?" Okay, are you kidding me right now? It is not even 8:00 in the morning, my blood sugar is low, and last I checked, I didn't think I was some kind of fat ass that needed a McIntervention! So I say back, "You know, I really don't care about that. It's not like I eat shitty food everyday of the week." With that she is half apologetic and leaves for her coffee.

In the meantime, I get back to my desk and start in on the greasy hashbrowns, saving the sandwich for last. Half way through the hasbrowns, I decide to quit, in favor of saving room for my sandwich. CRAP! They gave me a sausage McMuffin instead! Now my morning has gone south, and just then, guess who comes back for more?!? "Good morning Miss McMuffin eatin', such and such..." At which I turn my chair around to get a look at her, when she notices the flower pin I have on today, and says, "Oh my! That is a very big flower pin you have on your shirt today," with a look on her face like I had just made the fashion mistake of the year. This coming from a woman who still wears the Farrah hair from the '80's, wears polyester suits, and cream pumps, right? It ended with me giving her the look of death and saying, "How can I help you today?" through clinched teeth and my best fake smile. That ended that, but I am sure there will be another battle in the near future.

What is it with all these damn skinny people and their hang-ups? Just because you are self-concious and withhold food to make yourself feel better, don't put that crap on me! I am getting too old for that. Seriously. Life is too short and I am not going to not have a beer or a cheeseburger because I am afraid it will end up on my thighs.