HELP--I've fallen, and I can't get up!

Forgive me, for I have failed. It has been over a week since my last workout and I am really starting to feel guilty. It's just that it has been raining here. And well, running really sucks and running in the rain is just that much worse. I tried. There was the day that I wore a hat and found my waterproof jacket. It was not bad, in fact it was almost nice to run in the cool rain. But then the rain just never went away. Last Monday, I even put my running clothes out on the bed. I was going to go running before drinking beer, mostly to cancel out the act of drinking beer and less to actually gain some ground. But I took a nap instead and drank beer anyways. Then Tuesday came, and Wednesday, and Thursday (more beer), Friday, Sat...I promised myself I would start fresh again on Sunday. But then we lost an hour. Meanwhile, my workout clothes have been on my bedroom floor ever since.

So here it is Monday and it has stopped raining (for now). What will I do??? I never appreciated the body I had when I was younger. Even when I was working out regularly and feeling fit it was not good enough. Every year it is the same thing. Begin gaining weight when the sun goes away (October in Oregon). Then in spring when the short sleeve shirts, dresses, and skirts come back out, go into panic mode. Last year I decided to take a stand. I was turning 30 afterall, I felt entitled to a little weight. Well, guess what? I never lost any last year, gained even more this winter season, and last time I was on the scale I am officially the heaviest I have ever been in my life. So after receiving that news, I thought I had better get to running. My plan was to give myself at least 30 days. I think last I checked I was on day 20 or 21. Only nine more workouts to go and here I am, I have fallen off the wagon again. Then to add insult to injury, I was informed that a woman's body goes through significant metabolic changes once every 10 years. Great!

I could tackle it from another angle. I could try to watch what I eat. But the problem is, I have terrible eating habits. Like today, I had a reuben sandwich and chips for lunch. And this weekend, I had pizza, beer, fried shrimp, hashbrowns, and bacon (not in combination, of course). I almost thought about making a list of all the bad food choices I make throughout the day. Just because I think it would be a real eye opener to have to face the list. I hate to beat myself up over it. And I have really been trying to move away from my obsession with it for the last five years. I find it much more motivating to view it as a decision I am making for my health and not so much due to appearances. But this time of the year, it is hard to ignore the visual appeal of a healthy self.

I know exercising is good for me. Not only physically, but also mentally. I mean, listen to me. I have been off the wagon for just over a week and I notice a difference in my disposition. That's it, I am going to recommit to myself today. I wonder if I will still be able to find those workout clothes on my floor this afternoon?