Counting my blessings

Last night, we went to the local Walgreens to pickup a prescription. After 20 minutes in the magazine aisle, the pharmacy paged my name over the loud speaker. As I finished paying for my prescription, I remembered I need brown shoe polish. Working on a limited budget this fall, I decided to wear last year's brown shoes again this year and they are in need of some TLC. So after a few minutes of debating between actual polish or scuff remover, I decided on a tin and worked my way to the front of the store to the cash registers. There were two registers open, at which two separate customers were currently being helped. Hovering between the two lines, I observed the customer in the line to my right. Immediately, I notice dozens of silver coins laid out across the counter. The customer, a man, is counting them out while the cashier is waiting patiently. "Are you kidding me?!? So f*%!ing typical North Portland!" I say to myself, when just then, I get a closer look at the customer. I could hardly believe my eyes--it has been over 13 years, but I recognized him immediately.

13 years ago he would not have been caught dead paying for anything in quarters, let alone dimes and nickels. When I knew him, he was a total label whore, only Nordstrom brands. Back then we were such good friends. We went to all the parties together and even hosted a few of our own. We talked for hours on the phone. We spent many weekends hanging out and drinking Boones. Our senior year, we drifted apart, but he always held a special place in my heart because we had been such good friends at one point. After high school, he sort of slipped out of the scene. Few people know much about his whereabouts and I had heard he had fallen on hard times. There were rumors that he became involved in drugs and stopped talking to anyone. Seeing him there, counting out handfuls of change, I felt sorry for him. I turned to D and said,

"Oh my God! That's B. I.! I haven't seen him since high school!"
"Say something to him."
"Like what? I don't know what to say."
"He was a friend of yours wasn't he? Say 'hi', I mean shit, you used to hang out with him right?"
"I can't!"

And just then, the other register opened up. So I ran, leaving B. behind to continue counting up his change. We were done before him, and like a coward, I snaked out the door to the car without saying a word. I watched the doors, trying to catch one last glimpse. Back out on Lombard, I finally spotted him again, on foot crossing the street to Greeley. As we drove past, another car honked which caused B. to look up, at which point our eyes briefly met. It was dusk out, so I don't know that he could see me clearly. At least there was no look of recognition in his eyes. Besides, who is to say that he didn't recognize me in the store and was playing the same game of avoidance?

It really got me thinking about just how fortunate we really are. We take so many things for granted. I discount my car because it is a Honda Civic. I discount my house because it's old and it's in North Portland. I discount my job because I am not CEO. I am always wishing for more not realizing or even appreciating the many wonderful things that I am fortunate enough to have.

It also got me thinking a lot about why I didn't say anything. Did I think that he would be embarassed? Or is the truth really that I was embarassed for him? And then, I ask, who the hell do I think I am passing judgement on him? Why did I just assume he should be embarassed? Or maybe a part of me was afraid of his reaction? I don't know, but I am almost wishing I would have said something. The truth is I am terrible at these things.

A few weeks ago, D and I were at dinner when I recognized an old schoolmate. He was waiting on the tables in the section adjacent to where we were seated. I couldn't be sure, so I pointed him out to D. At which time, D walks over to the bathrooms and I see him stop to say something to this guy.
"Hey are you related to so-and-so?"
"Yes."
"I thought so because you look just like her."
"That's funny, people usually ask if I am related to so-and-so (his other sister)."
"Yeah, I am here with my wife R B and she thought she recognized you."

End of conversation. So now D comes back from the bathroom to relay the conversation and says,
"You should go say 'hi'."

At this point, I am irritated.

"Why did you even have to say anything? Now if I don't go over and say something, I am going to look like a stuck up snob! Argh!"

Again, what is the big deal, right? Why didn't I just say 'hi'? At least in this case, I was not particularly close to this guy. But still, someone with good breeding probably would have had the decency to at least acknowledge the guy, right? So what's my problem? I think I need to work on this one a little.

2 disc set?

My latest obsession is this new radio station called Charlie FM. Their motto is "We play everything", and they really mean it. They play everything from Neal Diamond to the Beastie Boys. I love it! One minute I am singing along to Prince and the next I might be shakin' my groove thing to KC and the Sunshine band. I get so nostalgic listening along. It is amazing how something as simple as a song can bring back so many memories. To quote Dick Clark of AM Bandstand fame, "Music is the soundtrack of our lives." So I got to thinking the other night, what might the soundtrack of my life look like?

Track 1 - Elvis Presley "Fools Rush In" As far back as I can remember, I loved Elvis Presley. I always thought he was so handsome. I remember watching all of his movies as a little girl. My favorites include Blue Hawaii and Kissing Cousins. He was my first Hollywood crush.

Track 2 - Madonna "Get Into the Groove" I was a child of the 80's. Need I say more?

Track 3 - Duran Duran "Please, Please Tell me Now" I can still see Simon LeBon in the video--blue shirt, blue tie, standing on a gray box of some sort in a strangely lit studio. It was love at first sight! MTV was new and I watched day and night hoping to catch another glimpse.

Track 4 - Van Morrison "Brown Eyed Girl" A song about a girl with brown eyes? A man after my own heart!

Track 5 - Bob Marley "Three Little Birds" I love the positive message of this one, "Don’t worry about a thing,’cause every little thing gonna be all right" Plus, who doesn't love Bob Marley?!?

Track 6 - Prince "Kiss" Timeless! Still sexy after all of these years and can definitely get me shaking my butt no matter where I am.

Track 7 - Beastie Boys "So Watcha Want" Reminds me of my boating days and all the good times under the sun with my Coors Light and bikini!

Track 8 - Dr Dre "Nuthin but a 'G' Thang" What can I say? I grew up in NoPo and although you can take the girl out the ghetto, you can never take the ghetto out of the girl. A little something from the old school. Plus it was our party girl theme song in college!

Track 9 - Depeche Mode "People are People" An all time club favorite. Another timeless beat that sounds just as good in 2005 as it did 20 years ago!

Track 10 - Phil Collins "Groovy Kind of Love" I love the simplicity of this one. It is a love song without being too overdone.

Track 11 - Boys to Men "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" Absolutely tear jerker for me. A song I can dedicate to everyone I have lost.

Track 12 - Bill Withers "Lean on Me" I think this song brilliantly captures the meaning of friendship in such simple verse.

Track 13 - The Beatles "When Im 64" Silly, romantic, and sweet!

Track 14 - Queen "Bohemian Raphsody" Love the song, loved Wayne's World!

Track 15 - Jimmy Buffet "Margaritaville" One of my favorite driniking/campfire songs, "Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt--Salt! Salt! Where's the f*$%ing salt?!?"

Track 16 - Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places" Well, what more can I say?

Track 17 - Cool and the Gang "Celebration" An all time wedding favorite. And I love weddings!

Track 18 - Sir Mix-A-Lot "Posse on Broadway" This is one of those songs that is real nostalgic for me. It reminds me of my crazy high school party days.

Track 19 - Michael Jackson "P.Y.T" Before he was Whacko Jacko, he was the shit!

I think that is enough for one disc, but there are so many more titles. Probably 2 discs wouldn't be enough. I have barely made it past the 90's and there are so many more. Music is amazing. Nothing else can make me smile and cry at the same time, nothing else can move me to let down my inhibitions and groove, and nothing else can capture a memory so eloquently like a song!