Exposed

I have been avoiding my blog for fear of being “caught”. Several months ago, I made the mistake of leaving my computer open on my blog page for my husband to stumble across. For the most part, I try to avoid posting anything too personnel on my page for the very reason that it is part of the public domain. In addition, my anonymity has been compromised for sometime given that I am part of a blog community of sorts. So I normally don’t publish anything I wouldn’t share publicly. However, on occasion, I do publish information I wouldn’t necessarily share with my husband. Let me explain.

My husband is very jealous, and not the good kind of jealous. Is there such a thing, one might ask. Well, yeah, kind of. Sometimes it is nice to know that your husband cares a little bit that other people might be looking at you. Unfortunately, my husband cares a lot. Even when the person who might be admiring me is completely not my type. It is annoying, yes. But it is my reality, so I try to keep him sheltered from such information.

Well, when he stumbled across my blog, he just happened to read that someone in my MBA program confessed to having a crush on me. When he saw that, he did not even bother to read further to decipher how I might feel about that. The simple fact that someone else expressed interest in me was enough to send him through the roof.

But he didn’t fess up to it right away. Instead he started acting really strange. Asking all sorts of suspicious questions. Interrogating me for a couple of weeks until I finally lost it.

Me: “You know what?!? This is getting really old. Are you accusing me of something or what?”

Him: “You want to know the truth?”

Me: “Uh, yeah!”

Him: “I read your blog. Who is it in your class that told you he has a crush on you?”

Me: “I knew it! I knew it! You had no right. Did you even read further, when I said I thought it was a little inappropriate? It’s not like I acted all flattered or something!”

No point. His ego had been damaged. How dare another man so boldly hit on his wife?

Him: “He came to my house! He drank my beer! There are rules. You just don’t hit on somebody’s else’s wife!”

Rules? Huh? Okay, I get it a little bit. But the anger thing, I did not appreciate because I did nothing wrong. Unless you count not telling him, but my philosophy over the years with this kind of stuff has been to keep him protected. Especially since it has never been of any consequence. Call me wrong, but he is just completely unreasonable about stuff like this.

Anyways, after that fiasco, I have been afraid to even open my blog for fear that he might come across it again. Then there was Little Star’s blog about her husband’s ex-wife hitting up her blog several times a day to decipher information that she would later use against her. I started worrying that my IP address was giving me away on the internet as a “stalker”, since I am notorious for using Google and My Space to find old classmates and co-workers unbeknownst to them. Or so I thought. What the hell?!? I started to realize I do not know enough about technology to not leave my digital fingerprints all over the damn web.

But I am feeling like I am ready to take a chance once again. This time with some rules and a little better understanding of what really does show up in a blog “counter” (Thanks Little Star!)

So I am back. At least for now.