What does it mean?

So last night D and I went out for a much needed night of mayhem. We started off Downtown at the Kell's tent for St Patrick's day. We spent $40 to get in, $15 for food, $20 on four beers and ended up leaving by 7:30 or so. St Patrick's was Friday night, so it kind of ended up being the "left over" or second string crowd. So we left for better scenery.

The true goal of the night though, was to get liquored up and end up at the infamous Amateur Night at the local strip club. No worries--I am not trying out a new career! I just felt like doing something naughty. All this work and school is really starting to get to me. I can only be so good for so long. So I brought it up to D a few weeks back. He wasn't quite convinced it was a good idea. Who the hell has to talk their husband into going to the strip club? I do. I left the subject alone, afraid he would get weird about me being so anxious over the whole thing. So finally, Friday he let on that it was a go.

After leaving Kell's we ended up at another bar where I polished off three vodka tonics before leaving to go to the club. Going to the strip club is kind of one of those things you cannot really call a friend up for and invite her along. I mean, really, I don't have too many friends who would be into that sort of thing. I mean I do have a couple of girlfriends that are sometimes apt to take a walk on the wild side with me, but as the years have gone by circumstances have changed so this sort of thing would be very out of the ordinary to ask. In fact, I did try to convince my best friend to go, but even she was not really sure. So I had resigned myself to going it alone with my hubby.

Before we get there my husband says to me, "Now don't let anyone try to talk you into getting up on stage." What the hell?!? Seriously, what would make him say such a thing? Sure enough, at the door, the first question to me is, "So are you going to be in the contest tonight?" To which I quickly reply, "Um, NO." My husband was really uncomfortable the moment we got in the door. In fact, he was ready to go when, across the room, he spots a familiar face.

"Hey, is that BEST FRIEND from high school?"

"Where?"

"Over there in the corner."

"It looks like BEST FRIEND."

"If it is, she sure has blown up."

"I swear it is her. I would recognize her face. Okay, if BEST FRIEND can be here right, now. I sooo can be here, too."

Just then, BEST FRIEND sees me, too. The recognition is there, so I move across the room towards her.

BEST FRIEND and I had a falling out many, many years ago over some stolen Billy Joel tickets that landed her in the security office of the Rose Garden. I had gotten the tickets from someone else for free and really had no interest in going. When BEST FRIEND found out I had the tickets, she offered to buy them. Well, at the time I really needed the money, so I sold them to her. When we found out the tickets were stolen, I was trying to protect my other friend, so I lied about where I got them. It turned into a big mess and ended an eight year friendship. However, unlike so many other people who were once a big part of my life, BEST FRIEND has never gone away. I run into her everywhere. And not just in St John's, but like Beaverton, Downtown, the mall, Nike campus, and now the strip club! What does it all mean? Now more than ever, I feel like some unforseen force in the universe has been trying to pull us back together the whole time. How could it be that afterall the time that has passed, we are still so much more alike then we are different?

"I knew that was you! D wasn't so sure, but I knew it! How the heck are you?"

"Well, I am about ready to give birth!"

"What?!? Oh my gosh! You are pregnant! When are you due?"

"Eight days from now."

"Where is your husband?"

"Oh, he is working security downtown at Kell's." Okay another strange coincidence.

"Really? We just came from there."

We started chatting more and just catching up. I pulled up a seat and the Amatuers took to the stage. Hillarious!

"Okay, seriously, why don't we talk anymore? We obviously keep meeting up like this for a reason."

"I know. I gave D my phone number and address. We just live right behind the high school on Smith Street. Give me a call. I mean it."

Sometimes life is interesting. I think I will give her a call. Just when I was looking for a friend, a friend appeared once again.

Being a woman sucks because...

I need to vent. D and I got into an argument the other day that started me thinking about all the reasons it sometimes sucks to be a woman. Don't get me wrong. I am all about "girl power" and womens liberation. But sometimes I think it is just so much harder to be a female. I am not saying that I want to trade my vagina in for a penis or anything. And I realize that the challenge of being female is also what makes it better than being male, but somedays I get so sick of it.

Being a woman sucks because:

-You are prone to urinate track infections.
-You have to care about things like looks and weight even when you know it shouldn't matter.
-When you gain weight it goes straight to your ass and the first place it leaves when you lose weight is your tits.
-Girlfriends like to stab you in the back.
-Women may forgive but they never forget.
-Once you have a falling out, even when you make-up, it is never quite the same again.
-Eventually your girlfriends leave you for a boyfriend, a husband, and finally children. Men don't do this.
-Relationships are more complicated.
-You always have to be the peacemaker.
-It isn't ladylike to be irrational or yell.
-She will never tell you what she is really thinking.
-You don't get to disown your family.
-You have to remember all the important dates and phone numbers.
-You have to wax or shave everywhere.
-Drinking too much is not socially acceptable.
-Standards are too high.
-Going to a bar by yourself is taboo.

Even though I agree with many of these things, I am not feeling as passionate right now as I was the other night. Maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself. I remember being so much angrier a few days ago and being really over it! Today it is not so bad.

I still think being a female is a lot of work most days. I just hope I can live up to the challenge.

A little breathing room

Wow! It has been since November of last year since my last post. Shortly after my last post I came down with the most disgusting virus ever. It left me covered in hives from head to toe. Even my eyes and lips swole up. At first I thought I had bed bugs because it looked like little bites all over my body. Plus I had just returned from NYC and there was this crazy expose on "Inside Edition" about bed bugs in a New York hotel. I thought for sure they had climbed into my luggage and lodged themselves into my bed at home. It was not until later that afternoon when the little bumps started to flatten out and begin to look more like hives that I guessed something else might be wrong. In any case I was sick for 7 days! Man I tell you, it really gets you thinking about how blessed you are to have your health. There is nothing more miserable than laying in bed sick.

With December my 31st birthday came and went and so did Christmas. There was a big windstorm the day of Christmas that knocked power out for thousands of people. So D got called in to work--mandatory. It was the first Christmas in all these years that we spent apart. My parents were in LA. Luckily, I had several friends to visit during the day and an invitation to dinner. But when I finally got home later that night, I was really feeling sorry for myself. I cried a little. It was a little scary being all alone. D ended up working a 24 hour shift. He got home the next day at around 6:30 AM.

School started in January and so did my temporary new assignment at work. My first class was "Mission and Vision". Immediately the first class, the professor laid it on thick. A book to read, several articles, and a research paper due ASAP. I admit I left class feeling super overwhelmed. I knew I was making a commitment, but it all of a sudden hit me pretty hard just how much of a commitment. After 7 weeks of serious overload and lots of hard work, the class came to an end. I have met a group of really cool people. My group is made up of 3 guys and me. One of them is a super over achiever, I mean he puts most over achievers I know to shame. The other guy has two twins, a boy and a girl, 17 months old. The third guy is a snowboarder whose wife is also in graduate school. They are a good group. At first I wasn't so sure, but as I have gotten to know them, I think I am going to enjoy working with them. We will be in the same group through the end of the program so that is a good thing.

Needless to say, I have had limited time for fun. Hubby and I did manage to get away for KIA's wedding in January. It was such an awesome weekend. I love my husband on vacation. He is like a whole other person. Not that I don't love him when we are at home, it is just that there are so many distractions like work and the house, so he is sometimes short and cranky. But while in AZ we got along so well. We hung out, drank beer, danced, ate good food, slept in. All those things that are impossible to do at home. Plus the weather was sunny, a little cool, but blue sky. Perfect weather for outdoor seating. Outdoor seating in PDX is limited to 3 months--July, August, and September. So outdoor seating in January is a super bonus!

I really feel myself growing in so many ways these last couple of months. Professionally, academically, and personally. Sometimes I feel like it is all happening so fast with so little time to reflect. At last I have a little breathing room to take a deep breath and---aaaahhh, let it all out!