A blog a day,

keeps the doctor away. Or at least that is what the experts say. So I am going to try to be more diligent about posting more often. To help me along I have been jotting down ideas for future blogs as they come to me. Sometimes quotes, but mostly just random thoughts. Like the stuff that I lay awake thinking about at night.

As discussed in previous posts, many of the women in my life are new mothers or soon-to-be mothers. And in talking with them, as I so often do, I have discovered a couple of other scary things about what I affectionately call "The Mommy Trap". First is the unexpected insecurity that comes with 1) becoming pregnant and then 2) with becoming a parent. As every woman is aware, one of the most life altering side effects of pregnancy is the significant weight gain. However, every woman is different. And unfortunately, you don't know how you will carry your pregnancy until you are way into the final trimester. Enter our friends "The Simpsons". We have been friends with the Simpsons for over 5 years and shared a pretty good relationship with them prior to the last six months or so. And I have really been struggling with the whole thing, until recently.

Whereas we used to see the Simpsons all the time, we have only seen them once in the last six months. Even the phone calls have stopped. At last, we get an update through the grapevine. The mother-to-be is "fat and pissed-off". A phone call on Sunday from Mr.Simpson confirms it. With the due date fast approaching, she does not even want to leave the house. I am caught off-guard. What I had been construing as a snub this entire time, might not really be a snub at all. It sounds like my friend is depressed. Which is so unexpected because she was so gung-ho about getting pregnant before. She never doubted for one second that she wanted to be a mom.

A little background on Mrs. Simpson. She is my very fashion forward friend. In fact, fashion is her profession. And she is darn good at it. Petite, blonde, and sassy. So it is pretty safe to say that most of her self-image revolves around outward appearances. And from the sounds of things, pregnancy has temporarily robbed her of that. To add insult to injury, while Mrs.Simpson has been gaining weight, Mr.Simpson has been losing it. 35 pounds to be exact. Under other circumstances this would be welcome news. But it sounds like the hormones are really doing a number on her. All of a sudden, I stopped being mad. In fact, I feel bad. I know it is just the hormones, but I did not expect pregnancy to bring that out in her.

My friends the "Ramsey's" have two little ones in their life. Only 11 months separates the two boys, so they have their hands full. Prior to baby #2's arrival, Mrs. Ramsey and I had a conversation that got me thinking. Feeling a little anxious about the stress of another baby she said, "Mr.Ramsey is so pre-occupied with J. that it is hard some times." It is not what she said that struck me, it was how she said it. I could almost sense a tinge of jealousy in her voice.

Background on the Ramsey's. Mrs.Ramsey was raised solely by her mother, so has never known the affection of a father. With the arrival of J. in the Ramsey's life, he quickly became the apple of his father's eye. J. can do know wrong and Mr.Ramsey is an adoring father. Almost to a fault.

Curious, I asked another friend who recently became a mother, "Do you ever get jealous of Emma with your husband?" She does not, but her mother was jealous of her. She said that the love you have for your own child is so powerful and so pure, that she could easily see how it could be threatening to someone who is at all insecure. Hmmm, like a recently pregnant woman with hormones running a marathon through her body?!?

Okay, so maybe it is not actually pregnancy that is all bad. Clearly, after further analysis, it is just the hormones that are a result of the pregnancy. But still, marriage is already a lot of work. Do I really need to add yet another layer of complication? This is all coming up because my husband woke me up last night to tell me he wanted to have a baby with me. And for a half second, I thought it might be a good idea. YIKES! Glad we both woke up from that dream.