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Wow! It has been over a month since my last post. I think my compulsive nature is getting the best of me. This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that I become consumed with something, whether it is a project, an activity, food, beverage, etc. and eventually end up burning myself out.

Last month, I decided to pick up 7 Habits again. I had started reading it a few years back and decided I wasn't quite ready to "commit". This time, I made it as far as chapter 2 - Be Proactive, when I decided to try to put theory into action. I made the decision to try and focus on three things--diet, marriage, and professional development.

Diet. My goal was to eat better, drink more water, and begin exercising. I started by identifying a list of "healthy" snacks and foods. I also brought a water bottle to work in addition to the cup I keep at my desk. Finally, I made the decision to limit my alcohol consumption to four servings per week (I had discovered that on average I was drinking one serving per day or 30 drinks per month!). The first week I was doing great. I was drinking my 64 ounces of water each day. I was eating three healthy meals and two healthy snacks. I stopped craving the bad stuff and I think I even managed to drop a few extra pounds.

Marriage. I am trying to be more patient and kind. I am trying to be more supportive and less controlling. I am trying to be more appreciative. Those who know me, know I have a long ways to go here. But at least I recognize it and I think that is a good first step, or a step in the right direction in any case!

Professional growth. All of a sudden a couple of weeks ago a light finally went on. I had been asked to participate in a project at work and got these lofty ideas about getting back on the path of "corporate climber". When I first started my career years ago, I was really motivated by this idea. I wanted to be the next CEO, not really, but I definitely wanted to make a contribution. But after getting laid off and getting kicked around by corporate America a few times, I lost my motivation. I became self absorbed and more interested in the simple life. Spending time with family and friends became my focus. Then this year, things changed. My family moved away. My husband got a new job working lots of extra hours. And all my friends started families of their own. For a while I felt like I was drifting, like someone took away my road map. Until recently. A supervisory position opened up and I decided to apply for it. At the same time, I made the decision that I am finally ready to go back to grad school, and this time for all the right reasons. In the past I would have been motivated by prestige or felt pressured by my mother. Now, I am going back for me and only me. It would be nice if it helps to advance my career, but I am not doing it for that reason. I am doing it because I want to continue my personal growth and really have an interest in learning more about the technical aspects of the business world. Something I did not get to study while learning about politics and the spotted owl back at WU. So, I applied for the job. And I started the graduate school application process.

Last week, I began to lose my momentum. I haven't even been blogging for fear that I might jinx myself. Blogging or no--I haven't been drinking water. And instead, spent the week drinking Starbuck's, Diet Coke, lemonade, beer, and cocktails. I also ate tator tots, a cheeseburger, pizza, mashed potatoes, pot roast, and chips. I found out that I did not get the job. And D and I are arguing this week because as he says, I think the whole world revolves around me! Doesn't it?!? What the hell ever! I am having a pity party and I feel like being a bitch!

So I need to spend the next week picking myself up and moving on. I think chapter 1 of the 7 Habits says "Don't be a victim." A victim I shall not be!